Forgive Yourself First

My heart has been broken, burnt and buried a couple of times. How I still get to love again is a miracle. If you have never been heartbroken, don’t read any further. Okay, that was a joke. Read a little more till you stop seeing yourself in this mirror. (Laughs)

It is believed that prevention is better than cure, but I think that knowing how to prevent unnecessary pains is priceless and pure. When undue pain is not permitted, unwanted regret is not remitted.

I have been in quite a few rash and reckless relationships and have come to realise that there is nothing more depressing than a sinking and stinking relationSHIP. It makes people drown even before their ‘ship’ starts drowning. You know those ‘rosy relationships’ with bitter waters flowing behind the scene.

Folks who are in bitter relationships may not necessarily be frowning but are drowning within. The late music icon, Fela Anikulapo Kuti called it ‘suffering and smiling’.

So, let’s get this straight, everyone will at one point or the other make wrong choices not because they are not wise enough but because they need to learn to value the right choices. Challenges make champions, for those who choose to give change a chance.

One thing that makes it possible to get out of toxic relationships faster is forgiveness, I’m not talking about forgiving the other person, but forgiving yourself.

Forgive yourself first, internal freedom fuels external freedom. It becomes easy to forge ahead when you learn to forgive yourself and stop struggling to forgive the offender or abuser. Stop trying to forget the past and start building a brighter future. Pick up the messy pieces and build a masterpiece. Even God created a bright and beautiful earth out of an empty and worthless earth.

You are not too battered and shattered to be rearranged and repackaged. Your pain is a puzzle that only love can fix – self-love. Forgiving yourself frees you from the hold of your past and gives you access into a deeper dimension of affection. And when you are free from internal bondage, it becomes easy to break free from external bondage.

Tell yourself sorry…

I’m sorry, to say the least,
I’m sorry for the last.
I’m sorry for forlorn feasts,
I’m sorry for the fast.

I’m sorry for weak heartbeats,
I’m sorry for the blast.
I’m sorry for my faulty feats,
I’m sorry for the past.

I’m sorry for dull film and frame,
I’m sorry for dead desire.
I’m sorry for my flagrant flame,
I’m sorry about the fire.

I’m sorry for shadow and shame
I’m sorry for the mire.
I’m sorry for every blame game,
I’m sorry for my quagmire.

I will do better by learning better,
I need not get bitter.
I have this one lovely life to live,
I will learn to forgive.
©2020 Adeleke Adeite

Please share with others, I’m sure you found this piece inspiring. Thank you.

Please share with others

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